Overcoming False Limiting Beliefs: Part 4
In this post, we’re talking about steps two and three in the Busting Free Blueprint™, a simple method young people use to conquer false limiting beliefs. You can learn about step one HERE.
STEP 2: DELETE
Once our kids have identified a Nagging Negativity, they can start eliminating it. There are two simple parts to the "delete" process. I’ll illustrate each one using the Nagging Negativity.
You're going to fail the next math test.
PART 1: Gather and Inspect Evidence
Our kids should make a simple T-chart to record evidence that the Nagging Negativity is true and that it’s false. Then they should evaluate anything on the “It’s True” side to ensure there aren’t other ways to interpret that supposed evidence.
As you can see in the example, there was another way to interpret the evidence initially recorded. If the evidence doesn't say what it was initially thought to be saying, it gets thrown out.
PART 2: Create a Reality Statement
Based on the legit evidence on both sides, our kids should come up with a reality statement that can replace the Nagging Negativity.
Please take note...we don’t want our kids “reverse lying”.
We don't want them making positive affirmations that are just as untrue as the negative ones they are eliminating.
In our example, notice it says “I will likely pass” not, “I will pass”. It’s important that these replacement sentences are truthful.
STEP 3: DEFEND
The final step is for our kids to create a contingency plan if the Nagging Negativity included an aspect that could possibly occur.
In our example, it is possible for the person to do poorly on the next math exam. While it’s not true that they DEFINITELY WILL, we must allow for the possibility. This reality can still cause concern.
This step helps lessen the likelihood that the predicted event will happen and equips our kids to be prepared if it does, so it can be dealt with.
They can start thinking about a contingency plan by first asking...
What can I do to eliminate or drastically reduce the likelihood of a situation I had to acknowledge may occur?
Sticking with our Nagging Negativity, here's an example of a solid plan to eliminate or greatly reduce the chances of the predicted thing happening.
Another part of the plan is preparing for the negative thing to happen, so it doesn't have a deep impact on self-esteem and confidence. Our kids can create this part of their plan by asking...
What can I do if the negative thing does happen?
With the Nagging Negativity exposed as a lie, a new reality statement to replace it, and a contingency plan in place, our kids will feel extremely empowered to go forward with courage and confidence.
So many young people let false limiting beliefs keep them from things essential to their development and to finding their ideal place in the world of work. Through the Busting Free Blueprint, they can successfully detect those lies, delete them, and defend themselves against their ongoing impact on their lives.
START A CONVO
Use these prompts to start a conversation with your child about this topic.
- How could someone see that the untrue negative beliefs they have about themselves are actually false?
- Do you think preparing for a possible negative experience can change the way a person goes through it if it actually happens?
Overcoming False Limiting Beliefs Series
Part 1: The Mind is Powerful and Dangerous
Part 2: How False Negative Beliefs Become Self-Sabotaging Behaviors
Part 3: Busting Free Blueprint: Part 1
Part 4: Busting Free Blueprint: Part 2 (CURRENTLY READING)
